Life will not be the way it was before...By LuAnn Kleemeyer
I have had this topic sitting on my computer for a good solid two weeks. I had my accident date come and go this month and I have to say - I hate thinking about it. I do not like that I only have one leg, I do not like that I cannot take a nice long walk, I do not like always having to watch where I walk and wonder will I fall, BUT I do like the fact that I am still alive, get to play with my grandkids, and travel and LIVE, but stress, fear, and worry are nagging issues that are always knocking on the back of my brain.
I live alone and the constant fear of falling is one that never leaves me. Am I alone in that? Do I dwell upon it too much? Probably, as I was always one that prepared for the "what ifs" in life. Do I let this stop me from enjoying and living a full life- ABSOLUTLY NOT! The anger of this lifestyle, the stress of this lifestyle, and the daily frustrations of this lifestyle are very real, more real than family or friends will ever know, but I do not let them dominate me. I love the Internet and facebook for this reason, we have a whole amputee network that is at our fingertips for us to share and ask anything we want or need. Reach out and grasp the help that is available to you. Do not attempt this new way of living alone. We need each other because only we can truly understand what we are going through. We need each other and our knowledge of what we go through is priceless. It is a fact that most of us want to help each other.
Life will not be the way it was before, but you are still very much alive and have to learn to deal with it and find what will give you pleasure. I have slowly learned to accept my life how it is and have learned to accept myself. I used to get dressed for church and look in the full length mirror and wish I could wear high heels and that my leg didn't look like a metal rod, but now I look and when the thoughts come, I squish them and say, "Thank you God for letting me still be here and get myself to church." These feeing did not come overnight. Give yourself time to grieve your loss, be mad, throw a few soft items (not at someone), and cry. Then pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with your life. It will become your new normal and it will get easier each day. You will adapt, you will make it, and one day you will find yourself happy again. Enjoy the little things in life and smile. Blessing for you each day!
LuAnn Kleemeyer
